Wading in the water

Wading :

to walk through water, snow, sand, or any other substance that impedes free motion or offers resistance to movement: to wade through the mud.

Have you ever experienced pain so deep, you felt as though you could touch it? As if it was so tangible you could reach right out and grab it, or maybe it could grab you. So concrete and so powerful it brings you to your knees, much like the waves-and before you know it your wading through it all; trying to find your way through it's resistance, hoping there might just be life on the other side, or at the very least- peace.

From a young age, I've had this weird sense of hurt, before I really knew what it meant. I've had a burning in my heart to understand pain, to understand an aching soul- it's as if my self was aching before I knew it could. To know the deepest parts of another's hurt, because through it you can truly see someone's soul. It's like god was preparing my heart, even then, to sustain my heart for the things that would come, and maybe even more, to be able to relate. To have empathy , and understanding, and even more compassion.

Isn't it ironic how pain can be the cornerstone of our lives? Of what not only makes us who we are , but also allows us to truly see each other? I don't know the reason for it, but I cant help but wonder if part of pain's purpose, is allowing us to see ourselves in each other.

I'm still wading through my own pain, and I've got this ringing in my bones, preparing myself like there's more to come. Maybe it's because I'm in the beginning of my healing- maybe It's because I'm finally feeling, maybe it's because I'm finally seeing...

I really don't know the answers, yet. Maybe I never will. But I will wade through this water, and I won't let it consume me. I will fight through the pain, until I find the other side. So maybe, I can hold out my hand, to help someone else through it. I know there is purpose in the pain, I know there is hope in the healing, and I know there is a beautiful view on the other side of it all.

"Because I found you in the river. I found you in suffering.

I found you on the mountain, you were always around me." - Anna Golden - Peace